It really WAS the perfect moment. And I think he almost proposed. But I also know he wasn’t prepared, didn’t have a ring, and is just not the type to go off half-cocked. And maybe he didn’t almost propose, but I could care less; it was one of the most perfect moments ever.
We were in the woods, up in the northeast, and we were hiking a short trail up to a fire tower. You readers don’t know me well, but I’m the type that can’t shut up. I talk all the time. Sometimes about things, and sometimes about nothing. But on our hike, I was silenced. Living in the city, there is a constant barage of noise. Even when you think there’s no noise? There’s white noise. There’s background noise.
In the mountains, there was NO noise. There was no breeze, no birds chirping, nothing. It was silent as we hiked, and it was a cool 70 degrees, and it was perfect. We walked in silence.. Not awkward silence, but happy peaceful, content kind of silence.
I stopped at one point to take some pictures, and he walked back down the path toward me. I looked up at him, and he put both hands on either side of my face, and kissed me. And it was a movie kiss. It was better than a movie kiss. It wasn’t all fireworks.. it was better. It was an absolute total ‘content’ feeling. Not in a negative sort of way, but in the way that everything is just perfect. It’s perfect in that I am not perfect, he’s not perfect, life’s not perfect, but I’ve found something, and I’m happy. There were no thoughts, no “what ifs” clouding my brain. We are what we are. And I’m happy with that, and have never felt as peaceful and have never been so at peace with myself and with us as I did at that moment.
After the kiss, he said straight out, in a SERIOUS tone… “You know I’m crazy about you, don’t you?” It really caught me off guard. We always say “I love you.” And we mean it. But it’s such an easy, common way to vocalize it. The way he vocalized himself really caught me off guard; it’s uncharacteristic of him. He went on.. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, and I can’t imagine not having you in my life.”
His eyes were piercing. At that moment, he was seing ME and us. And then he was silent, and we were looking into each other’s eyes (so cliche, I know)…
And at that moment, I think it was on the tip of his tongue.
It didn’t go any further though, and I can’t say I’m upset about it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not whether I’m struggling over how to answer that question.. I just know it’ll come in time. The right time. I’m extremely content with where we are, and I don’t feel I have to pressure him to “ask” in order to keep him. If he wants to make it official, he’s going to do it when he feels ready. He’s traditional, and I’m ok with that.
It really was one of the greatest moments in my life.
Filed under: Engagement, Love, Relationships, Wedding Planning, Weddings | Tagged: new england, proposal, Relationships, wedding
