I have to be careful about how I proceed with this. I’d like to keep this blog private. I think the purpose of this blog, for me, is an outlet. And as an outlet, I want to be able to write freely and openly. And I suppose the point of making it public is to get some feedback and comments along the way. Otherwise, I’d just write in a journal, right?
I’ve been trying to think of a ‘name’ to use for my boyfriend in this blog. Like I said, I don’t want to give away identifying details, but I don’t want to call him ‘my boyfriend’ the whole time. I don’t know WHAT to call him. I guess I’ll figure it out as I go.
He is the love of my life. Does that mean there can’t possibly be another person out there in this world that would be a fit for me? Hardly. With one me and billions of others, I’m sure I could find happiness elsewhere.
But I have no reason to.
I’ve always just jumped in to most relationships. Not that I’ve wanted to jump in an get married right away, but I didn’t see the point of pretending to be someone else (and only show the good parts of me) date after date after date. I hated the bullshit. So, I always either had a boyfriend, or didn’t. But I didn’t ‘date.’ And I also didn’t have ‘guy friends.” (And I still don’t.)
Except for him. I met him quite some time ago, and we’ve just always kept in touch over the years. I got to know him as a brilliant, moving, funny, handsome man, though we were never that close. After we first met, we mostly kept in touch via email or IM since we didn’t always live close to each other.
When we first met again in person after all these years, I was instantly attracted to him. But not only that, we were also friends to a certain extent, so we had a foundation to begin with. Which is something I lacked in almost ALL of my previous relationships.
He makes me feel beautiful. He makes me feel smart, and intelligent, and in no way hampers me from being the person I want to be. In fact, he encourages it. I love that I never have to try to be someone else for him, and I don’t think for a second that he’s trying to be someone else either. And just that, to begin with, gives us something really good to work with.
We went out with some friends today for the afternoon. We were all just joking, talking about God knows what, and he said to the group, “Well, when we have babies….” (referring to me and him)… I don’t even know what the rest of the sentence was or what he was talking about. But all of this is becoming a huge turning point. Of course WE’VE discussed having children, and know that we want to, but to mention it in front of our friends? It’s huge. And honestly, I can’t say I was unhappy about it. Made me feel all warm & fuzzy inside.
Filed under: Love, Relationships | Tagged: Love, Relationships
